The stories we carry

Here’s a personal story. And while it comes with a theme of running, it’s definitely not about running.

This summer, Jason and I were sitting on the couch talking about a race we were both running that weekend. All was good, and he made a loving joke about my pace. Under any other circumstance, with any other person, it probably would have been a quick laugh and life goes on.

This time, I blew up.

Jason and I don’t fight, so my reaction left us both stunned and frankly, unsure how to move forward.

The next day, I went for a long run and spent some time in reflection. I realized my reaction had nothing to do with what Jason said (truthfully, I don’t even remember the comment) and everything to do with the stories I had been carrying for years without realizing it.

Bozeman has a knack for producing elite athletes. It’s inspiring, but growing up alongside them embedded some stories deep within me that I was still holding onto tightly. I was never good enough. Exercise was never about joy or the journey, but about results. I wasn’t an elite athlete, so I was less than. I could never work hard enough to be skinny enough, fast enough, strong enough. For the longest time, I just told myself, “I’m not a runner” and certainly not a trail runner.

Twenty years after high school, I discovered those stories were still living in my consciousness. And Jason, I’m sorry that discovery came the way it did.

So I had to rewrite the story.

Now, I’m a mom of two with a strong, capable body.
I’m a woman who deserves time to take care of herself.
I’m a person exploring her limits in her own way, compared to no one else.
I’m an example for my kids that caring for yourself is a priority.
And I’m proud to say, I’m a trail runner.

Is that story cemented? No.
But it’s something I can come back to when the old narrative resurfaces.

There’s so much power in the words we use with ourselves.
I am.
I am not.
I am becoming.
I will never.

Those phrases hold power.

So, what are you telling yourself today?
And is it still true?

Be Great,
Sam

P.S. If you haven’t heard, Jason and I launched a community for leaders who are intentionally evolving through connection, accountability, and shared perspective. Check it out here.