One year ago this week, I left my corporate job.

Most people assume I left to build Arcadia. That isn't the whole truth. Arcadia was running in the background, and it caught me when I was falling. It has held me through the last year and given me community, structure, and room to reflect and build whats next. 

The real story is, I was drowning.

I remember the day so clearly. My leadership made a call I deeply disagreed with. Leaders on our team were speaking up, saying what they believed was best for the business, and getting fired on the spot for it.

The morning of a local event I was set to speak at, one I had been so excited about, I got word that another of my executive peers had been fired. No explanation. No conversation. No internal discussion.

I have been on enough executive teams to know these things sometimes happen. But there is usually alignment, a communication plan, a strategy that follows. There was none of that.

Mostly, I remember the feeling in my body. The stress turned physical and it consumed me. My body felt physically heavy. My heart sat in my throat, pounding. I couldn't be present in a single moment because I was too consumed by it. Deep breaths and meditation were like patching a crack in a glass pool with scotch tape, barely holding for a second.

From the outside, though, I kept telling the same story.

And then there was my team. They were best in class. As a leader, I felt so much responsibility to be a good steward of their careers, to be the barrier that let them do great work, live good lives, and actually enjoy coming to work. The truth was that the barrier I was building was bursting at the seams, and they could see it.

I made good money. I had the title. This was the ladder I had worked so hard to climb. That made it so hard to leave, especially with nothing waiting on the other side.

Waking up every day to log on and make excuses for the way things were, telling myself this is just how work goes, it all came crashing down.

My husband had been seeing the signs for months. He told me. Even my mom told me to take some time, something I never thought I would hear her say.

And still, all of that, plus a heart that felt like it might come out of my chest, was not enough for me. It took months.

Then finally, on the day I had taken PTO and was so excited to speak on stage, it all came down at once. I called my boss. I didn't give the reasons or the long list or the toll it had taken. I just said I was leaving.

The response was simple. "Okay. When is your last day?"

No thank you, no rebuttal, just okay.

I thought I would feel an immense rush of freedom on the other side of that call. What I actually had was a pile of rubble around me.

We talk about leaving your job like it's a glory moment. And don't get me wrong, I was so grateful for the time with my kids and the freedom to go for a run in the middle of the day. But what no one really talks about is that the same decision took an identity I had spent 15 years building and made it no longer mine.

This year became so much more than I expected. Building Arcadia full time was never really the plan. I was going to take a few months and reevaluate.

Then we launched the Arcadia Constellation last September, and people kept showing up feeling versions of exactly what I had been through. Is this it? What am I building toward? Who am I outside of this title? Layoffs were pushing people to recalibrate around their value as humans, not just as employees.

This year has been one for the books, and not only for me. Record layoffs across tech. The surge of AI. The post-Covid reckoning between human-first business and the 996 work week.

Here is the irony. We have been building Arcadia to help leaders find harmony in their work, their lives, their teams, and their communities. Turns out I needed Arcadia more than anyone.

I don't have a business lesson for you today. I don't have a thoughtful question to pose.

The point of this one is simpler. The vision you hold for yourself can change. Stepping away from it might be the scariest thing you ever do. On the other side, there may be rubble and a pile of questions. But from that rubble, you will see how capable you actually are. You can build the life you actually want. You will meet parts of yourself that were hiding and probably belong on the front page.

I'm not telling you to quit your job. Certainly not. I'm telling you not to chase a life that isn't yours just because you're good at it and it looks like it fits.

There is more to you than that.

And to those that have been on this journey along side us, we are so grateful. 

Be Great,
Sam

P.S. If any of this landed a little too close to home, the Arcadia Constellation is where we have these conversations out loud, with people sitting in the same questions. Come see what it's about -

And we have only a few spots left to take a few days amongst leaders to recalibrate, have these conversations face to face and explore the intersection of purpose and performance - Arcadia Leadership Experience


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The Arcadia Community - The Constellation
The Arcadia Leadership Experience
Friends with Benefits Podcast