This morning my daughter (5) ran into my bedroom so excited. More excited than I've seen her in a while.

"Mom, get up. Get dressed! We have to go!"

Last night at 7:30, before bed, she decided that we were going on a girls' trip to New York. This is not a new game. There's a lot of fake trip planning and packing that happens in our house. However, this time was different. In the morning she remembered and for some reason this time in her head it was very real.

And when I told her that I would be wearing my pajamas on the airplane and that the airport was in the living room, she looked at me in complete disbelief.

How could I possibly suggest such a thing?

The disappointment when she realized that we weren't going on an airplane with the paper ticket that she had drawn that morning was frankly devastating to witness. It turned to anger and she got mad at me because we missed our flight and the explanation went back and forth for a good 45 minutes on why we couldn't go to New York today. At about the 40-minute mark it got to be pretty frustrating and Jason and I looked at each other as he was about to go upstairs to try to level set with her.

I said, "This has nothing to do with a trip. It's about something way different than that."

A few weeks ago Jason and I met with someone I met on LinkedIn - Jeff Greenberg. He was an analyst on Wall Street for years and now is a coach at Clay and runs money psychology workshops. This combination really intrigued me so I reached out and asked if he'd be willing to do a session with Jason and I. I love doing stuff like this with Jason because both of us are like, "Yeah, sure, let's try it" without really fully understanding what we're getting into.

What transpired in the 75 minutes with Jeff was truly eye-opening, transformative (and, I am careful with that word). I'm not really even sure how to describe it but it significantly impacted the way that Jason and I communicate with each other, the understanding we have of each other. The reality is that while money was the facade, it had nothing to do with money.

Maybe AI is onto something with the "it's not about this, it's about that" format, because I feel like that is the truth for so much of humanity. Whether a trip or money.

Jason and I would say we are very good communicators. And when it comes to money I thought we were talking about all the right things. Pull out the spreadsheet, look at our spending. Talk about our life goals and figure out how to get there. However, we're looking at the same spreadsheet and both of us were seeing a completely different thing based on the stories we were told growing up, the way we learned to move through the world, and the roles we’ve taken whether it be playful, protector, etc.

It was about money always, but underneath the surface - it was never about money.

Jason said to me the other day, "I have a much better understanding of how you think about things. And when we're talking about things like this, I can grasp where you're coming from a bit better."

There was so much more in the 75 min session - like for example - the way my body and mind shut down when I found myself in an uncomfortable money situation. Since the session with Jeff, I can name this, see it and not let it completely own me. And that, is life changing.

Maybe you read this and recognized yourself somewhere. Maybe it's the freeze when an unexpected number shows up, or the conversation that's always about money but never actually about money, or the spreadsheet you and your partner stare at and see two completely different things in. If any of that landed, this is for you.

Jeff is coming to do a workshop with the Constellation on 6/1, and we're spending the rest of the month working through how money has shaped the way we move through the world. The positive and the negative. Because this was so impactful for us, we’re offering $50 off for the month of June.

We'd love to have you with us.

Other news: We have 17 spots left for Arcadia Leadership Experience and they will sell out. See the recap video from last year here - and join us!

The Heather Cooper and Blakely Graham of the Not All Business podcast will be joining us at ALX to do a live recording talking about all things Taboo in business and fielding sticky situations from attendees. Check out our conversation on the Friends with Benefits podcast with Heather and Blakely.|

Be Great. Be Arcadia.

Sam


We’d love to have you join us:
The Arcadia Community - The Constellation
The Arcadia Leadership Experience
Friends with Benefits Podcast